Seth’s Logic. By CpSingleton © 2014
In a fit of alcoholic madness and heartfelt endeavour the crowd at The Rose and Crown, Halifax, decided to organise the Yorkshire Three Peaks Challenge to raise money for a local lad with leukaemia.
The challenge takes in the peaks of Pen-y-ghent, Whernside and Ingleborough, in under 12 hours. The peaks, highest being 728 metres, form part of the Pennine range, and encircle the stunning head of the valley of the River Ribble, in the Yorkshire Dales.
It’s a long hard day of walking up and and down and back again.
Most of the locals gave themselves six weeks to get into reasonable shape for the gruelling yomp.
Seth was the exception to the sensible rule.
‘I’ve worked on farms all mi bloody life. I don’t need to be running around,’ he told the pub, resting his pint on his hefty belly as he talked. ‘All that puffing about is bollocks.’
Some of the others shrugged.; some frowned.
The six weeks passed quickly.
A coach was hired to deliver them to the picturesque little village of Horton-in-Ribblesdale, the starting point of the challenge.
The initially excited crowd suffered the stories of Seth’s fell running days all the way there.
‘I did the three peaks twenty years ago on a fractured knee,’ he told them. ‘The ambulance was by mi side all the way round, begging me to get in. I told them to go bollocks.’
At eight in the morning, with the summer sun already banging a heavy beat on their heads, they prepared with a few stretches.
Seth stood by scoffing.
‘Have you not brought a pack of drinks and lunch, Seth?’ Barney, the landlord asked.
‘Worry ye not, Barney, lad. I’m well prepared.’
‘What ya got?’ Barney asked, intrigued.
The rest of the party of twenty stopped their preparation and gathered around to see.
‘Well, if you must know, in this pocket,’ Seth began, pointing to the left side of his mock-leather jacket. ‘I’ve got my inhaler. And in the other pocket I have forty cigs.’
Needless to say, three miles in, Seth collapsed to the ground, wheezing every god’s name as he went.
Three years later, after fifteen pints of bitter, the story of his Three-Peaks success was re-hashed and retold.