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No. 648

Seth’s Logic. By CpSingleton © 2014

In a fit of alcoholic madness and heartfelt endeavour the crowd at The Rose and Crown, Halifax, decided to organise the Yorkshire Three Peaks Challenge to raise money for a local lad with leukaemia.
The challenge takes in the peaks of Pen-y-ghent, Whernside and Ingleborough, in under 12 hours. The peaks, highest being 728 metres, form part of the Pennine range, and encircle the stunning head of the valley of the River Ribble, in the Yorkshire Dales.
It’s a long hard day of walking up and and down and back again.
Most of the locals gave themselves six weeks to get into reasonable shape for the gruelling yomp.
Seth was the exception to the sensible rule.
‘I’ve worked on farms all mi bloody life. I don’t need to be running around,’ he told the pub, resting his pint on his hefty belly as he talked. ‘All that puffing about is bollocks.’
Some of the others shrugged.; some frowned.
The six weeks passed quickly.
A coach was hired to deliver them to the picturesque little village of Horton-in-Ribblesdale, the starting point of the challenge.
The initially excited crowd suffered the stories of Seth’s fell running days all the way there.
‘I did the three peaks twenty years ago on a fractured knee,’ he told them. ‘The ambulance was by mi side all the way round, begging me to get in. I told them to go bollocks.’

At eight in the morning, with the summer sun already banging a heavy beat on their heads, they prepared with a few stretches.
Seth stood by scoffing.
‘Have you not brought a pack of drinks and lunch, Seth?’ Barney, the landlord asked.
‘Worry ye not, Barney, lad. I’m well prepared.’
‘What ya got?’ Barney asked, intrigued.
The rest of the party of twenty stopped their preparation and gathered around to see.
‘Well, if you must know, in this pocket,’ Seth began, pointing to the left side of his mock-leather jacket. ‘I’ve got my inhaler. And in the other pocket I have forty cigs.’

Needless to say, three miles in, Seth collapsed to the ground, wheezing every god’s name as he went.

Three years later, after fifteen pints of bitter, the story of his Three-Peaks success was re-hashed and retold.

 

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About Chris42

I am a liar! A maker-uper of stories! If this was the 16 (c) I'd be burned as a witch. Fank goodness it is not, eh?! I have four children: two wonderful girls, a fantastic lad and Leeds United. I have no strict genre. I write children's poetry and stories, to edgy, stronger themes. Up until now I have stored them for my own and my family's viewing. Last year i thought bugger it and starred in several short films. One, Playground, which is on the BBC Film Network, used the monologue that I wrote for the audition. You should've seen the face of the receptionist, of the Manchester hotel, where the audition was being held, as I turned up dressed as the psychopath, Gordon. It got the desired effect! I then moved up to Cumbria and wrote and appeared in several live performances on stage. 2012. A local artist, Kayleigh Richardson, commissioned me to write a poem for her to paint a representation. I sent her, The Rise of the Robot Monkey Army. Kayleigh painted a fantastic piece that blew my mind! From that we are collaborating on the Jacob Bear series of stories. Oh and Two's Company is to published, along with seventeen other Sci Fi short stories as part of a collection. Not a bad start to the, so called, last year of the Earth. Now is the time to show the rest of you. I take my themes wherever i see them, whether in reality or dream-world. I hope you enjoy. If not tell me why. If so tell me why. Many thanks and be safe. So far I have published: Jacob Bear's first Christmas,https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007GK872A (UK) http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007GK872A (USA) Jacob Bear Goes to School https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007JD3OKY (UK) http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007JD3OKY (USA Jacob's First Words https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007VZWPSC (UK) & http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007VZWPSC (USA) Space Here https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007H96M90 (UK) &http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007H96M90#reader_B007H96M90 The Rise of the Sponge Cake Moon https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007WWZ16M (UK) & http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007WWZ16M (USA) © Madstoffa, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.

Discussion

3 thoughts on “No. 648

  1. I don’t give much for his chances,,,

    Posted by kiwiskan | September 20, 2014, 7:45 pm

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© C.p.Singleton, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Don't make me have to take the shirt off your whipped back if you break the rules! I will you know! Us writing folk work hard to make rubbish up for you to enjoy, so don't abuse or you lose! Tha's right!

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