Pound to a piece of animal doings that when I look back at the end of 2016 one or two on the list will have fallen by the wayside, but here goes nowt…
Numero One-o: I must push myself to lift things and then put them done more. It’s good for my boobies.
Numero Two-o: I must walk more and run; especially when being chased by antagonistic aliens and giant bees armed with laser spears.
Numero Three-o: I must meditate and practice mindfulness a lot more. It is goooood.
Numero Four-o: I must learn a language, other than tongues. I am proficient in that now.
Numero Five-o: I must take the time to read other people’s work. There is some good shit out there as I have recently found out.
Numero Six-o: I must do more for my world. Not just the many inside my brain box, but also the one outside my peepers.
Numero Seven-o: I must try and become more healthy. That includes cutting down on alcohol, cut down on smoking and eat betterererer.
Numero Eight-o: I must take over a small country by force, under some bullshit excuse that the leader has only one testicle and has weapons of mass destruction and then take its oil, thereby helping my mates out with weapons contracts.
Numero Nine-o: must do more research, as it appears that numero eight-o as already been done to the point of ridiculousness.
Numero Ten-o: I must smile more. Especially if someone is silly enough to try and mug me. That will freak them out no end.
Numero Twelve-o: I must remember to keep up with my arithmetic.
Numero Sixteen-o: I must be more serious. People respect seriousness more.
Numero Swcentegb-o: I must learn to teach a New Guinea pig the Wombles theme song. That would be a good skill for a old New Guinea pig to have in its Arsenal.
Numbetoid Fifty-twelve-o: I must stop making lists. My brain can’t cope and begins to flollop into a state of rubbery armadillo.
So, that’s it. My New Years resolutions.
I think I’ve covered most things adequately. Anybody see something that I should add or ditch just holler like you are a dingo in a dunny.
All the best,
The right honourable Abbot of absurdity,