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The Annual Procrastination 

  
So, I got to thinking -hence the similar looking chap above- about resolutions; that annual self-delusional procrastination, and I may just make one or two this year and see how I get along.

Pound to a piece of animal doings that when I look back at the end of 2016 one or two on the list will have fallen by the wayside, but here goes nowt…

Numero One-o: I must push myself to lift things and then put them done more. It’s good for my boobies.

Numero Two-o: I must walk more and run; especially when being chased by antagonistic aliens and giant bees armed with laser spears.

Numero Three-o: I must meditate and practice mindfulness a lot more. It is goooood.

Numero Four-o: I must learn a language, other than tongues. I am proficient in that now.

Numero Five-o: I must take the time to read other people’s work. There is some good shit out there as I have recently found out.

Numero Six-o: I must do more for my world. Not just the many inside my brain box, but also the one outside my peepers.

Numero Seven-o: I must try and become more healthy. That includes cutting down on alcohol, cut down on smoking and eat betterererer.

Numero Eight-o: I must take over a small country by force, under some bullshit excuse that the leader has only one testicle and has weapons of mass destruction and then take its oil, thereby helping my mates out with weapons contracts.

Numero Nine-o: must do more research, as it appears that numero eight-o as already been done to the point of ridiculousness.

Numero Ten-o: I must smile more. Especially if someone is silly enough to try and mug me. That will freak them out no end.

Numero Twelve-o: I must remember to keep up with my arithmetic.

Numero Sixteen-o: I must be more serious. People respect seriousness more.

Numero Swcentegb-o: I must learn to teach a New Guinea pig the Wombles theme song. That would be a good skill for a old New Guinea pig to have in its Arsenal.

Numbetoid Fifty-twelve-o: I must stop making lists. My brain can’t cope and begins to flollop into a state of rubbery armadillo.

So, that’s it. My New Years resolutions. 

I think I’ve covered most things adequately. Anybody see something that I should add or ditch just holler like you are a dingo in a dunny.

All the best,

The right honourable Abbot of absurdity,

CpSingleton esq.

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About Chris42

I am a liar! A maker-uper of stories! If this was the 16 (c) I'd be burned as a witch. Fank goodness it is not, eh?! I have four children: two wonderful girls, a fantastic lad and Leeds United. I have no strict genre. I write children's poetry and stories, to edgy, stronger themes. Up until now I have stored them for my own and my family's viewing. Last year i thought bugger it and starred in several short films. One, Playground, which is on the BBC Film Network, used the monologue that I wrote for the audition. You should've seen the face of the receptionist, of the Manchester hotel, where the audition was being held, as I turned up dressed as the psychopath, Gordon. It got the desired effect! I then moved up to Cumbria and wrote and appeared in several live performances on stage. 2012. A local artist, Kayleigh Richardson, commissioned me to write a poem for her to paint a representation. I sent her, The Rise of the Robot Monkey Army. Kayleigh painted a fantastic piece that blew my mind! From that we are collaborating on the Jacob Bear series of stories. Oh and Two's Company is to published, along with seventeen other Sci Fi short stories as part of a collection. Not a bad start to the, so called, last year of the Earth. Now is the time to show the rest of you. I take my themes wherever i see them, whether in reality or dream-world. I hope you enjoy. If not tell me why. If so tell me why. Many thanks and be safe. So far I have published: Jacob Bear's first Christmas,https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007GK872A (UK) http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007GK872A (USA) Jacob Bear Goes to School https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007JD3OKY (UK) http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007JD3OKY (USA Jacob's First Words https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007VZWPSC (UK) & http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007VZWPSC (USA) Space Here https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007H96M90 (UK) &http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007H96M90#reader_B007H96M90 The Rise of the Sponge Cake Moon https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007WWZ16M (UK) & http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007WWZ16M (USA) © Madstoffa, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.

Discussion

8 thoughts on “The Annual Procrastination 

  1. This is a hilariously good list.

    Posted by Tosha Michelle | January 1, 2016, 8:36 pm
  2. I forbid Sixteen-o. It’s a trap they have clearly goaded you into thinking. Don’t let them win. The seriousness thing eats away at your sanity. Fight it. Bash it about the skull if you have to, but do not let it in for long; it’ll destroy everything around and inside you if you let it get close enough.

    Posted by Justice&Humanity | January 2, 2016, 2:02 pm
  3. Oh, never mind then. You have complete immunity. I think. Keep your guard up, just in case.

    Posted by Justice&Humanity | January 2, 2016, 6:11 pm

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© C.p.Singleton, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Don't make me have to take the shirt off your whipped back if you break the rules! I will you know! Us writing folk work hard to make rubbish up for you to enjoy, so don't abuse or you lose! Tha's right!

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