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No. 3022

Jonny B’s Great Ideas. By CpSingleton © 2016

Jonny B wanted to sell his house, but refused to pay the extortionate estate agency fees, so he decided he’d do it himself.

That would save at least a thousand pounds.

He thought about it before grabbing his camera, taking pictures of the rooms, the gardens and the facia and then striding off to sell it.

He wandered around the busy high street, the cold wind fluttering his documents, threatening to send them scattering into the road and approached young and old alike.

He enjoyed no success. 

The people thought he was one of them there internet pranksters and merely ran away, grinning.

He then tried door to door.

Again, success eluded him.

No matter what tack he used nobody seemed to want to buy his lovely abode. Most stated that they actually had one and he couldn’t really argue with their point. He was standing on their doorsteps or in their sheltered porches, after all.

Three days later…

He gave in, threw the photos away, shrugged and traipsed back to his pretty red front door. 

On arriving back to his cosy little home he realised it was probably a good thing he hadn’t sold it as he hadn’t had time to find a new one.

He tutted and laughed at his own stupidity, whilst making himself a hot cup of tea.

An hour later, and thirty seconds into a bed advertisement, he decided that their prices were extortionate, therefore he went in search of his saw and a large enough tree to cut into a suitable bed-frame.

He was surprised to find it under his deluxe divan with spring pocket memory-foam mattress. 

He shrugged once more -less from the irony and more from fatigue- and had himself a good lie down.


About Chris42

I am a liar! A maker-uper of stories! If this was the 16 (c) I'd be burned as a witch. Fank goodness it is not, eh?! I have four children: two wonderful girls, a fantastic lad and Leeds United. I have no strict genre. I write children's poetry and stories, to edgy, stronger themes. Up until now I have stored them for my own and my family's viewing. Last year i thought bugger it and starred in several short films. One, Playground, which is on the BBC Film Network, used the monologue that I wrote for the audition. You should've seen the face of the receptionist, of the Manchester hotel, where the audition was being held, as I turned up dressed as the psychopath, Gordon. It got the desired effect! I then moved up to Cumbria and wrote and appeared in several live performances on stage. 2012. A local artist, Kayleigh Richardson, commissioned me to write a poem for her to paint a representation. I sent her, The Rise of the Robot Monkey Army. Kayleigh painted a fantastic piece that blew my mind! From that we are collaborating on the Jacob Bear series of stories. Oh and Two's Company is to published, along with seventeen other Sci Fi short stories as part of a collection. Not a bad start to the, so called, last year of the Earth. Now is the time to show the rest of you. I take my themes wherever i see them, whether in reality or dream-world. I hope you enjoy. If not tell me why. If so tell me why. Many thanks and be safe. So far I have published: Jacob Bear's first Christmas,https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007GK872A (UK) http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007GK872A (USA) Jacob Bear Goes to School https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007JD3OKY (UK) http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007JD3OKY (USA Jacob's First Words https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007VZWPSC (UK) & http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007VZWPSC (USA) Space Here https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007H96M90 (UK) &http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007H96M90#reader_B007H96M90 The Rise of the Sponge Cake Moon https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007WWZ16M (UK) & http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007WWZ16M (USA) © Madstoffa, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.


2 thoughts on “No. 3022

  1. A good lie down always fixes everything. Well, not really, but it feels good at least, am I right? After a nice cup of tea. 😛

    Posted by Tony Single | February 28, 2016, 10:29 pm

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© C.p.Singleton, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Don't make me have to take the shirt off your whipped back if you break the rules! I will you know! Us writing folk work hard to make rubbish up for you to enjoy, so don't abuse or you lose! Tha's right!

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