I know that I usually have a moment on a Friday where I wish to share with you all a selection of facts and figures, but “scientists” have discovered that if I swap it with Monday then I will live a more fulfilled life. So, here we go:
1) Books were first invented as a way of passing the time until television was invented. And/or to burn in the name of free speech.
2) scientists have discovered that due to the flimsy molecular structure of marshmallows they can be utilised as foodstuffs.
3) Recent internet surveys state that 83%of all Americans, and indeed those who especially live in the US of A think that “Trump” will be the next president of the galactic empire and are already shopping neighbours as rebel scum.
4) NASA astronomers are 100% positive that the earth was once part of an alien conspiracy where they are in fact testing our abilities to ascertain asininity.
5) Parapsychologists at Leicester University are recently quoted to saying that Magick and Magic are two very different things. One involves copious amounts of self-tan and small skirts and the other requires an open mind and a candle or two.
6) There is a poll taken by “The Guardian”, London, that concludes that if you want the whole world to believe any old shit on the internet then use quotation marks and/or that “scientists” now believe whatever crap you are trying to peddle to the masses.