‘Ahhh, Brews!’ Si announced with a wide grin.
Nige, tray of steaming cups of tea and coffee in hand, shakily made his way to the grubby coffee table, with the cups tinkering like wind-chimes.
‘Next time, some other twat can make the ’em,’ he grumbled to all and nobody as he plucked his favourite cup from the tray.
‘We’re guests,’ replied the gangling figure with wide, crazy eyes, that was Gazza.
‘Fuck off, Gazza,’ countered Nige. ‘You and Lexxie’re here more than me.’
‘I’m not havin’ that,’ Gazza countered jovially. ‘What say you, Lex, old lad?’
Across the room, in the corner chair, Lex, Lexxie, or just plain Alex, sat slumped, with left leg crossed casually over its brother.
‘Me neither, Gazza, old fella mi lad,’ He replied. ‘I’m not sure that I’m even here now.’
The room laughed in appreciation.
‘Have you heard who’s number one?’ asked a more effeminate voice of Besty, his shocking red hair poking out of his L.A. Raiders cap, like a breakout at spider prison. ‘Fuckin’ Turtle Power!’
‘Fuckin’ Turtle Power,’ repeated Tigger in a monotone drawl. He leaned over to take a cup from the tray and made it look like a “Krypton Factor” task.
‘That’s your favourite song of all time, in’t it Tigger?’ Si asked monotone-boy, releasing himself from Lisa and swiping the cup Tigger had been pondering over.
‘Get up, Colon,’ Nige demanded.
‘Why? I were sat here first,’ Colon droned.
‘Since when were you, in any universe, sat there first?’ Nige asked, spilling his coffee carelessly, as he articulated his point. ‘That chair has been in our family since before either of us were born?’
‘No buts Colon: It’s my chair.’
‘Like yer top Claire,’ Lisa said, leaning behind Si. ‘Where’d you get it?’
And so it went on: the two girls swapped make-up techniques and what hair spray did the most damage to the ozone; the boys engaged in banter tennis.
Soon enough for some, yet not for Colon, Gimpy arrived.