Karl, stood arms crossed, as if deep in philosophical thought, in front of the clear glass cabinets. Jess could virtually hear the cogs whirring as his eyes flicked over the wide range of meats and pastries inspired from every corner of the world and he always asked…
‘Do you fancy ham or corned beef?’
‘What about chopping up one those Kababos sausages into a salad?’ She returned, without much hope of him agreeing.
‘Noooo! They look dried dog’s cock!’
‘And you’d know that, because?’
‘Because,’ he began. ‘My Uncle Peter had a Great Dane with a knob that hung the exact same way.’
‘You haven’t got an Uncle Peter.’
‘I have! He lives in…erm…Greenwich.’
‘Is erm…Greenwich actually a place?’ she asked, raising an eyebrow.
‘Hello. Back again?’ The counter assistant asked as she sidled up to serve them. ‘You forget something?’
‘What?’ Karl asked, as if he’d just been pressed for the length of his last stool. ‘This is the first we’ve spoken to you today.’
‘Oh, really? I could’ve sworn blind that I had just served you some boiled ham and a Kabanos for your good lady. Humph. Well, they do say that we all have a twin somewhere, darl’s. Or,’ she added conspiratorially. ‘Maybe you have doppelgängers pretending to be you.’
‘Why the hell would someone pretend to be me? Karl asked. ‘It’s not like I’m Elvis or Beckham?’
‘Just a thought, my love; just a thought. Now, what can I get you, this lovely day?’
‘Erm,’ Karl replied, not wanting to say the words, but tasting the juicy meat on his mind’s tongue, nonetheless.
He looked to Jess.
She returned the gormless mask along with a noncommittal shrug of her own.
‘Six slices of boiled ham and one of those weird sausages,’ Karl mumbled across the glass.
‘Please,’ Jess added automatically.
‘Coming right up, mi little flowers!’ The thickset lady replied with Prozac cheeriness, before turning away from the confuddled couple.
‘What the frig is the craic here?’ Karl hissed, looking over his girlfriend’s shoulder at the many passers-by, in the hope to see the two people that appeared to be two minutes ahead of themselves. ‘Do you think this place is full of mentals? Or, are there folk going around impersonating us?’