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short story, silliness, Uncategorized

No. 3111

A Philosopher Drops By Unannounced. By CpSingleton © 2016

‘Do you know where it is I may or may not be?’ The faceless voice asked me.

I was a little perturbed at first, as I was sure I was in bed and had locked all the doors to the outside getting in.

I quickly opened my peepers and sat bolt upright, in one fluid movement I hasten to add. 

Luckily it was the only fluid movement to occur. I surreptitiously checked as I asked, ‘who are you?’

‘I think I am who I was,’ the voice, who I now saw, through blurry eyes, was attached, inexplicably, to a golden lion standing upright in well-pressed evening wear.

I presume that it was “evening wear” as I’m sure it’s not the kind of attire to be worn at lunch.

I suppose it could be donned at brunch if one is to believe in that sort of over the water absurdity.

‘And who were you?’ I asked, trying to keep my patience in check. After all, it was a lion.

‘I think I may or may not have been Descartes. Although, if I was, then you’d think I would be more assured of that fact, wouldn’t you?’

‘Possibly?’ I countered, with a rather Australasian over-redundant use of the question mark and all it sounds like. ‘Can you recall where you might have been just prior to appearing in my bedroom in the middle of the night, Monsieur Descartes?’ I asked without an audible pause.

‘Oh!’ Descartes the golden lion began with some embarrassment in his tone. ‘I apologise profusely,’ before disappearing in an instant.

It left me quite the startled starling, I can assure you.

After reaching for a glass of water on my nightstand, I realised the problem: 

I had eaten my slippers again. 

That always created problems in the philosopher/golden lion dreams I was to expect awaking me from my tender slumber.

I sighed, in the only way I knew, deep and dramatic, before returning to the boglands of Chesterfield to buy new slippers.


About Chris42

I am a liar! A maker-uper of stories! If this was the 16 (c) I'd be burned as a witch. Fank goodness it is not, eh?! I have four children: two wonderful girls, a fantastic lad and Leeds United. I have no strict genre. I write children's poetry and stories, to edgy, stronger themes. Up until now I have stored them for my own and my family's viewing. Last year i thought bugger it and starred in several short films. One, Playground, which is on the BBC Film Network, used the monologue that I wrote for the audition. You should've seen the face of the receptionist, of the Manchester hotel, where the audition was being held, as I turned up dressed as the psychopath, Gordon. It got the desired effect! I then moved up to Cumbria and wrote and appeared in several live performances on stage. 2012. A local artist, Kayleigh Richardson, commissioned me to write a poem for her to paint a representation. I sent her, The Rise of the Robot Monkey Army. Kayleigh painted a fantastic piece that blew my mind! From that we are collaborating on the Jacob Bear series of stories. Oh and Two's Company is to published, along with seventeen other Sci Fi short stories as part of a collection. Not a bad start to the, so called, last year of the Earth. Now is the time to show the rest of you. I take my themes wherever i see them, whether in reality or dream-world. I hope you enjoy. If not tell me why. If so tell me why. Many thanks and be safe. So far I have published: Jacob Bear's first Christmas,https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007GK872A (UK) http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007GK872A (USA) Jacob Bear Goes to School https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007JD3OKY (UK) http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007JD3OKY (USA Jacob's First Words https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007VZWPSC (UK) & http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007VZWPSC (USA) Space Here https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007H96M90 (UK) &http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007H96M90#reader_B007H96M90 The Rise of the Sponge Cake Moon https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007WWZ16M (UK) & http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007WWZ16M (USA) © Madstoffa, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.


8 thoughts on “No. 3111

  1. Come on over, baby a whole lotta thinking going on.

    Posted by Tosha Michelle | May 29, 2016, 5:21 pm
  2. Philosophers, eh?! Piffle.

    Posted by cpsingleton42 | May 30, 2016, 2:32 pm
  3. Try the socks next time. Puts a whole new spin on things The yarns that you’ll weave . . .

    Posted by Justice&Humanity | May 30, 2016, 7:55 pm
  4. Oh no! Socks are for lunchtimes only! 😊

    Posted by cpsingleton42 | May 31, 2016, 5:10 am
  5. that’s quite spooky; did you know that decartes actually had a pet lion?

    Posted by Trenton Babbage Enterprises | May 31, 2016, 11:40 am

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© C.p.Singleton, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Don't make me have to take the shirt off your whipped back if you break the rules! I will you know! Us writing folk work hard to make rubbish up for you to enjoy, so don't abuse or you lose! Tha's right!

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