‘So, we’re not traipsing after a poor couple that may or may not look like us, then?’ Jess asked hopefully, taking the little plastic bags of meat and dropping them carelessly into the trolley.
‘Oh, I still want to look at this couple. Come on, Jess. Don’t you want to see why these loons think we look the same?’
‘I just want to get home for breakfast, to be honest.’
‘One peek as we rush ’round and then we’ll go fill Vossy and be home in half an hour?’
‘Quickly then,’ Karl repeated and pushed the trolley towards the canned vegetable aisle.
They quietly and swiftly grabbed tins of beans and spaghetti whilst looking for their twins. Alas, nobody remotely similar in size or shape filled their visions.
They found the same lack of reflection down every aisle. Even, to Karl’s relief, the baby aisle.
After dashing around like Keystone Cops for longer than either of their stomachs required, they gave up and rushed into a vacant checkout and swiftly began to unload their goods on to the belt.
‘What do you say to just grabbing a brekkie in the café down the road? I’m bloody starving, love’ Karl groaned.
‘Well, if you hadn’t nattered about looking for two people who may or may not’ve looked like us we could’ve been home cooking the damned thing ourselves,’ Jess hissed back.
‘I take it that’s a yes then?’
‘Of course it’s a bloody yes.’
‘Oooh, you shopping for other people as well as yourself, are you darl’s?’ The rather large checkout lady, wedged into her groaning seat, asked cheerfully.
‘I’m not sure what you mean, love,’ Karl asked, the loaf of bread in his hand hovering over the belt.
‘Well, it’s the second time you’ve been to me within fifteen minutes, with similar shopping. I just presumed you were shopping for someone else,’ she told him with an out of breath smile.
Karl dropped the bread and turned to his partner with eyebrows raised.
‘You think we’ve been here already…Susan?’ Karl asked the checkout lady slowly as he read the name badge she wore over her hefty bosom.
‘I would swear to it, darl’,’ the Susan replied with a frown.
‘Now tell me something weird isn’t happening?’ Karl asked Jess with the condescending tone that she couldn’t abide.
‘How long do you think the other us might have passed by?’ Jess asked the Susan, looking past Karl.
‘Ooooh, can’t be more than a couple of minutes, darl’,’
‘Right, let’s sort this out once and for all,’ Jess told Karl. ‘Can we get this shopping through as quickly as possible, please?’ She asked the Susan.
‘No problem, darl’, you are lucky enough to be on the fastest checkout in the North.’
‘Why don’t you catch them up while I get this done?’ Karl asked.
‘And say what?’
‘I don’t know…just check them out.’
‘That wouldn’t be weird. You do it.’
‘I have the cash card.’
‘I know your number.’
‘Done!’ The checkout lady cried triumphantly.
Jess and Karl both turned quickly around to see the shopping packed and ready for payment.
‘That’s amazing!’ Karl told Susan, eyes wide.
‘It’s a gift, darl’. You’d better hurry up and pay if you want to catch your twins.’
‘Erm…yeah…right,’ Karl replied, before fumbling in his pocket for his wallet.