‘I had an aneurysm once,’ Graham said with a rise in his tone that always denoted his excitement at being able to add to the conversation.
‘When did you have an aneurysm?’ Toddy sceptically asked, laying down his pint glass on to the stained bar-mat.
‘The other week.’
‘Shit, Gray!’ Sonia exclaimed from her barstool further down the bar. ‘Why didn’t you tell someone?’
‘It didn’t seem important,’ Graham shrugged.
‘Not important?! What was it like? Are you alright now?’ Sonia asked compassionately.
‘Yeah,’ Graham began, rubbing his chin. ‘I’m fine.’
‘Where was it?’ Gav, the barman asked.
‘Reading, I think,’ Graham replied, with another shrug.
‘No, ya silly sod,’ Toddy laughed. ‘What sort of aneurysm was it and what was it like?’
‘Oh, I see,’ Graham laughed. ‘It was like a peanut, only bigger.’
‘Shit!’ Sonia offered.
‘No, really, it was alright,’ Graham replied.
‘What did the doc say?’ Gav asked.
‘Dunno. I never thought to ask. I mean, I didn’t have any allerngic reaction or anything.’
‘What the hell are you talking about?’ Toddy asked, confusion painted across his acne-pitted face.
‘I didn’t come out in a rash and my tongue stayed the same size, so I didn’t think to go to the doctors.’
‘But, you had a aneurysm, love,’ Sonia told him. ‘My cousin had one in the brain and he was proper messed up! You should’ve gone to the doctor.’
‘Seriously?!’ Graham asked, aghast.
‘Seriously!’ They all told him.
‘But, I was fine.’
‘Right,’ Toddy began slowly. ‘Tell me again what this aneurysm was like?’
‘Well, it was like a peanut, only shaped a little more like a kidney bean and it was honey-roasted, I think.’ Graham told them all.
‘How the frig do you know what it tasted like?’ Toddy asked.
‘To be honest I wasn’t sure that it was honey-roast, but I looked on the bag and it said honey-roast. So, it must’ve been honey-roast mustn’t it? It was actually not bad. A bit sweet for my taste, but…’
‘You knob!’ Gav suddenly exclaimed. ‘You had a cashew! A honey-roasted cashew!’
‘Oh, is that what it was?’ Graham asked completely without irony. ‘I thought it was called an aneurysm!’
‘Why would you think that, Gray?’ Sonia asked with a giggle.
‘I don’t know…you hear a word and…’
‘Automatically assume you’ve had it?!’ Toddy laughed. ‘It’s a good job we didn’t say the word abortion.’
‘Yay, yay,’ Graham laughed. ‘I know that only old ladies with good pensions can get them.’
‘Don’t you ever change,’ Sonia told him through hysterical fits.
And do you know? He never did.