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Songs for Death and Boxing. By CpSingleton © 2016

There’s been far too many funerals of late and, as I get greyer of the bonce, I’m sure there will sadly be more.

I find that, during the wake, after the dearly departed’s character and life choices are discussed, the conversation inevitably moves on to the ceremony itself. Opinions on the eulogy and music chosen are passed as sandwiches are munched. 

Sometime later a voice will enquire how others would like their funeral.

It comes as no surprise that I want mine to be ridiculous. My life’s been that way, so therefore my last goodbyes will follow suit. 


Just so you know, I want clowns and jokers on either side of my cheap, whicker casket, rolling down the aisle to the sounds of Steelers Wheels “Stuck in the Middle With You”. At the front of the church I want a bloody big photo of me pulling a ridiculously stupid expression, with thumbs up. 

Most of all I want laughter. 

Or by the power of Greyskull I will return and haunt every last mother licking one of you! 

Just kidding about the haunting. 

Or am I?

Anywho I got to thinking about music expressing a personality as he enters a building -because my mind wandereths liketh that- and I wondered who chooses boxers ring walk music.

Some are obviously the boxer. For instance only Eubank would be so egotistical to pick for himself Tina Turner’s “Simply the Best”. 

And then I wondered how a boxer mentally reacts to music played his opponent. 

Does it bother him it all?

Does he hear Eminem’s “Kill You” and gulp, or does he think right back at ya?

Therefore I wondered how an opponent would feel if I flounced into the ring to the sounds of “I Wanna Sex You Up” by those kings of trapped testicles, Color Me Badd.

Would it mess with his fight plan?

Would it make him maddererer?

What other songs could drive him to losing distraction?

What would you come out to?

In fact, what would you go out to?

What other occasion requires entry music?

I’ve just remembered a chopper pilot who would sometimes fly us off the rig, when I worked in the North Sea, and just as we could see the chalky white cliffs off Aberdeen, feeling that giddy nearly home bubble in our stomachs, he would slam on Thin Lizzy’s “The Boys Are Back In Town”. 

I never met him after we disembarked the rattling death trap of a flying bus, but I would love to tell him what a brilliant touch that was. It was one grin away from the Flight of the Valkyries, I can tell you.

Anywho…that was…


Brought to you by Solemn Jonny’s Funeral Parlour and It’s Not The Cough That Carried You Off, It’s The Coffin They Carried You Off In, coffinmakerstothestars.com. 


About Chris42

I am a liar! A maker-uper of stories! If this was the 16 (c) I'd be burned as a witch. Fank goodness it is not, eh?! I have four children: two wonderful girls, a fantastic lad and Leeds United. I have no strict genre. I write children's poetry and stories, to edgy, stronger themes. Up until now I have stored them for my own and my family's viewing. Last year i thought bugger it and starred in several short films. One, Playground, which is on the BBC Film Network, used the monologue that I wrote for the audition. You should've seen the face of the receptionist, of the Manchester hotel, where the audition was being held, as I turned up dressed as the psychopath, Gordon. It got the desired effect! I then moved up to Cumbria and wrote and appeared in several live performances on stage. 2012. A local artist, Kayleigh Richardson, commissioned me to write a poem for her to paint a representation. I sent her, The Rise of the Robot Monkey Army. Kayleigh painted a fantastic piece that blew my mind! From that we are collaborating on the Jacob Bear series of stories. Oh and Two's Company is to published, along with seventeen other Sci Fi short stories as part of a collection. Not a bad start to the, so called, last year of the Earth. Now is the time to show the rest of you. I take my themes wherever i see them, whether in reality or dream-world. I hope you enjoy. If not tell me why. If so tell me why. Many thanks and be safe. So far I have published: Jacob Bear's first Christmas,https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007GK872A (UK) http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007GK872A (USA) Jacob Bear Goes to School https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007JD3OKY (UK) http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007JD3OKY (USA Jacob's First Words https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007VZWPSC (UK) & http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007VZWPSC (USA) Space Here https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007H96M90 (UK) &http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007H96M90#reader_B007H96M90 The Rise of the Sponge Cake Moon https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007WWZ16M (UK) & http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007WWZ16M (USA) © Madstoffa, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.


4 thoughts on “Songs for Death and Boxing. By CpSingleton © 2016

  1. don’t take this the wrong way, but I want to come to your funeral…and definitely a great choice of boxing song…Islands in the Stream?

    Posted by Trenton Babbage Enterprises | July 29, 2016, 8:57 am

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© C.p.Singleton, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Don't make me have to take the shirt off your whipped back if you break the rules! I will you know! Us writing folk work hard to make rubbish up for you to enjoy, so don't abuse or you lose! Tha's right!

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