There’s been far too many funerals of late and, as I get greyer of the bonce, I’m sure there will sadly be more.
I find that, during the wake, after the dearly departed’s character and life choices are discussed, the conversation inevitably moves on to the ceremony itself. Opinions on the eulogy and music chosen are passed as sandwiches are munched.
Sometime later a voice will enquire how others would like their funeral.
It comes as no surprise that I want mine to be ridiculous. My life’s been that way, so therefore my last goodbyes will follow suit.
Just so you know, I want clowns and jokers on either side of my cheap, whicker casket, rolling down the aisle to the sounds of Steelers Wheels “Stuck in the Middle With You”. At the front of the church I want a bloody big photo of me pulling a ridiculously stupid expression, with thumbs up.
Most of all I want laughter.
Or by the power of Greyskull I will return and haunt every last mother licking one of you!
Just kidding about the haunting.
Or am I?
Anywho I got to thinking about music expressing a personality as he enters a building -because my mind wandereths liketh that- and I wondered who chooses boxers ring walk music.
Some are obviously the boxer. For instance only Eubank would be so egotistical to pick for himself Tina Turner’s “Simply the Best”.
And then I wondered how a boxer mentally reacts to music played his opponent.
Does it bother him it all?
Does he hear Eminem’s “Kill You” and gulp, or does he think right back at ya?
Therefore I wondered how an opponent would feel if I flounced into the ring to the sounds of “I Wanna Sex You Up” by those kings of trapped testicles, Color Me Badd.
Would it mess with his fight plan?
Would it make him maddererer?
What other songs could drive him to losing distraction?
What would you come out to?
In fact, what would you go out to?
What other occasion requires entry music?
I’ve just remembered a chopper pilot who would sometimes fly us off the rig, when I worked in the North Sea, and just as we could see the chalky white cliffs off Aberdeen, feeling that giddy nearly home bubble in our stomachs, he would slam on Thin Lizzy’s “The Boys Are Back In Town”.
I never met him after we disembarked the rattling death trap of a flying bus, but I would love to tell him what a brilliant touch that was. It was one grin away from the Flight of the Valkyries, I can tell you.
THOUGHT OF THE DAY!
Brought to you by Solemn Jonny’s Funeral Parlour and It’s Not The Cough That Carried You Off, It’s The Coffin They Carried You Off In, coffinmakerstothestars.com.