It may seem silly to ask you a question, but, in some small way, if I ask you things maybe you might be more inclined to visit me to answer them. Especially as rudeness always drove you bananas.
I can only hope.
As promised, I got dressed and attempted to leave the house.
I thought it best if I went out into the back garden first. I know that it sounds silly but that way I would be less likely to see other folk.
Those bloody, stupid irrational feelings started as soon as I began to unlock the damned door, love. I’m sorry for swearing but I could feel my throat filling up with phlegm and tightening as I opened it and looked out at your sleeping rose garden. It was a cool, grey day, but I felt so hot and sweaty. Then, as I stepped out I just felt like I was dizzy and couldn’t breathe.
It was absolutely horrible, Mol!
Before I could stop myself I was back inside and the door was locked. I then ran into the kitchen. There was no brandy left so I scooped cold water from the sink tap onto my face and into my mouth. I must have swallowed a gallon of water before I actually calmed down.
I feel weak saying this but I really wish it was brandy.
Afterwards, I just sat in the kitchen, looking out at the garden.
I remember when you first planted that rose bush. Remember, we got it from Garret’s garden centre? You seemed to know more about flowers than the lad who was advising you.
As I stared out I could see you on your little knee mat, pruning away. The deep red roses seemed to smile down at you. You certainly had the green fingers, didn’t you?
After that I cried. Big softy, eh?
I promise that I will try again tomorrow.
I found some currant teacakes in the freezer, so I’m going to go and toast one for tea.
Love you lots.