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Short 20

The Dating Site. By CpSingleton

We split because Sally said we had nothing in common.

Three years it took her to figure that out.

What a bloody waste of time.

So, after a few weeks of pub crawls and club trawls, yet finding nobody who vaguely rang bells, I saw an advert for one of those expensive dating sites. You know, one of those that brag about finding your exact match?

I let it fall from my mind, until I came back late one night, pissed and bored.

You know the rest. On went the laptop, out came the credit card and I then divulged my likes and dislikes.

After an hour of waiting for the ideal date my eyes felt too heavy to continue, so I flopped off to bed.

The next morning, head thumping like a crap rave beat, I turned on the laptop and was surprised to see that it had come up with a match.

There wasn’t a picture, but the name was intriguing. It said she was called Diamond Drawers.

I thought it was funny, if not a little diverse, so I clicked yes to meeting her.

She then sent me an email asking for a picture, so I thought it would be amusing to reply that I was testing the integrity of the dating site’s boast. She also seemed to think that was funny, because she was doing that herself.

Gazza and Phil said she was probably a munter.

I must admit to feeling a bit worried that they might be right, but thought it was worth a giggle meeting someone that had seemed funny and liked the same things I did.

Sally could be out there having trouble and I could be about to find my ideal partner.

The night arrived and we arranged to meet at the Balti Shed in town.

I must admit to feeling a bit nervous.

I arrived a little early and was led to my table to wait…and wait…and wait…until, to my surprise, she arrived.

She was too shocked to stay, so just turned and ran off.

Sally can’t even admit shit to herself.

Her loss.


About Chris42

I am a liar! A maker-uper of stories! If this was the 16 (c) I'd be burned as a witch. Fank goodness it is not, eh?! I have four children: two wonderful girls, a fantastic lad and Leeds United. I have no strict genre. I write children's poetry and stories, to edgy, stronger themes. Up until now I have stored them for my own and my family's viewing. Last year i thought bugger it and starred in several short films. One, Playground, which is on the BBC Film Network, used the monologue that I wrote for the audition. You should've seen the face of the receptionist, of the Manchester hotel, where the audition was being held, as I turned up dressed as the psychopath, Gordon. It got the desired effect! I then moved up to Cumbria and wrote and appeared in several live performances on stage. 2012. A local artist, Kayleigh Richardson, commissioned me to write a poem for her to paint a representation. I sent her, The Rise of the Robot Monkey Army. Kayleigh painted a fantastic piece that blew my mind! From that we are collaborating on the Jacob Bear series of stories. Oh and Two's Company is to published, along with seventeen other Sci Fi short stories as part of a collection. Not a bad start to the, so called, last year of the Earth. Now is the time to show the rest of you. I take my themes wherever i see them, whether in reality or dream-world. I hope you enjoy. If not tell me why. If so tell me why. Many thanks and be safe. So far I have published: Jacob Bear's first Christmas,https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007GK872A (UK) http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007GK872A (USA) Jacob Bear Goes to School https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007JD3OKY (UK) http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007JD3OKY (USA Jacob's First Words https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007VZWPSC (UK) & http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007VZWPSC (USA) Space Here https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007H96M90 (UK) &http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007H96M90#reader_B007H96M90 The Rise of the Sponge Cake Moon https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007WWZ16M (UK) & http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007WWZ16M (USA) © Madstoffa, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.


18 thoughts on “Short 20

  1. If you like piña colada’s and getting caught in the rain if your not into yoga and you have half a brain

    Posted by Tosha Michelle | August 25, 2016, 8:35 pm

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© C.p.Singleton, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Don't make me have to take the shirt off your whipped back if you break the rules! I will you know! Us writing folk work hard to make rubbish up for you to enjoy, so don't abuse or you lose! Tha's right!

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