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short story, silliness, Uncategorized

Short no. Twelveteen 

Happy Nonsense Day Everyone!

And if you say that it isn’t then you’re not nearly silly enough.

I’d like to commemorate the day by shhifting laterally, posing naked for Homes and Gardens and whistling into a tube of toothpaste. If you’ve never tried it then you don’t know what you’re being mislead into.


Orfice Gumblegash Gets Deported. By CpSingleton © 2016

It was a sunny day when Orfice Gumblegash opened his eye lids. This made him initially frown, because when he’d closed them it was much harder to see.

He would have frowned twice more, but he really didn’t see the point in tertiary frowness. Which was a pity, for if he did he may have avoided the cut on his cheek.

After cleaning the blood off with a pallet knife and a dog whistle he trudged down his stairs for some breakfast. The stairs reasonably complied, despite number eight groaning slightly.

On arrival at the kitchen he muttered “breakfast, breakfast,” in the hope that an idea may arise. The idea was having a lazy day, therefore did nothing of the kind.

It didn’t matter to him that it was lunchtime by then and now. He was a big believer in breakfast when breaking a fast and he stuck rigidly to it. Despite it being an ideal that cost his father his life and a pretty decent iPhone. See the chronicles of Ifgy Piggleson for more details.

He ate his breakfast of a wonky turkey leg and six cheesy smiles before washing it down with some frozen yoghurt. No mean feet or hand, I can tell you!

He then left the house and headed into town for the day’s groceries. 

Where he was promptly arrested and deported to a run down card shop in Bangor for not wearing any clothes, attempting to rob from the day and trying to carry a full shop without bags.

The shop later apologised on evening telly. Stating their lack of bags was due to a pregnant swallow and a carton of joy, but would be suing Orfice for lugging them around town in such an undignified manner.

The end of this beginning. 

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About Chris42

I am a liar! A maker-uper of stories! If this was the 16 (c) I'd be burned as a witch. Fank goodness it is not, eh?! I have four children: two wonderful girls, a fantastic lad and Leeds United. I have no strict genre. I write children's poetry and stories, to edgy, stronger themes. Up until now I have stored them for my own and my family's viewing. Last year i thought bugger it and starred in several short films. One, Playground, which is on the BBC Film Network, used the monologue that I wrote for the audition. You should've seen the face of the receptionist, of the Manchester hotel, where the audition was being held, as I turned up dressed as the psychopath, Gordon. It got the desired effect! I then moved up to Cumbria and wrote and appeared in several live performances on stage. 2012. A local artist, Kayleigh Richardson, commissioned me to write a poem for her to paint a representation. I sent her, The Rise of the Robot Monkey Army. Kayleigh painted a fantastic piece that blew my mind! From that we are collaborating on the Jacob Bear series of stories. Oh and Two's Company is to published, along with seventeen other Sci Fi short stories as part of a collection. Not a bad start to the, so called, last year of the Earth. Now is the time to show the rest of you. I take my themes wherever i see them, whether in reality or dream-world. I hope you enjoy. If not tell me why. If so tell me why. Many thanks and be safe. So far I have published: Jacob Bear's first Christmas,https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007GK872A (UK) http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007GK872A (USA) Jacob Bear Goes to School https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007JD3OKY (UK) http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007JD3OKY (USA Jacob's First Words https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007VZWPSC (UK) & http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007VZWPSC (USA) Space Here https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007H96M90 (UK) &http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007H96M90#reader_B007H96M90 The Rise of the Sponge Cake Moon https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007WWZ16M (UK) & http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007WWZ16M (USA) © Madstoffa, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.

Discussion

One thought on “Short no. Twelveteen 

  1. So Multi talented

    Posted by Tosha Michelle | August 29, 2016, 4:04 pm

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© C.p.Singleton, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Don't make me have to take the shirt off your whipped back if you break the rules! I will you know! Us writing folk work hard to make rubbish up for you to enjoy, so don't abuse or you lose! Tha's right!

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