Happy Nonsense Day Everyone!
And if you say that it isn’t then you’re not nearly silly enough.
I’d like to commemorate the day by shhifting laterally, posing naked for Homes and Gardens and whistling into a tube of toothpaste. If you’ve never tried it then you don’t know what you’re being mislead into.
Orfice Gumblegash Gets Deported. By CpSingleton © 2016
It was a sunny day when Orfice Gumblegash opened his eye lids. This made him initially frown, because when he’d closed them it was much harder to see.
He would have frowned twice more, but he really didn’t see the point in tertiary frowness. Which was a pity, for if he did he may have avoided the cut on his cheek.
After cleaning the blood off with a pallet knife and a dog whistle he trudged down his stairs for some breakfast. The stairs reasonably complied, despite number eight groaning slightly.
On arrival at the kitchen he muttered “breakfast, breakfast,” in the hope that an idea may arise. The idea was having a lazy day, therefore did nothing of the kind.
It didn’t matter to him that it was lunchtime by then and now. He was a big believer in breakfast when breaking a fast and he stuck rigidly to it. Despite it being an ideal that cost his father his life and a pretty decent iPhone. See the chronicles of Ifgy Piggleson for more details.
He ate his breakfast of a wonky turkey leg and six cheesy smiles before washing it down with some frozen yoghurt. No mean feet or hand, I can tell you!
He then left the house and headed into town for the day’s groceries.
Where he was promptly arrested and deported to a run down card shop in Bangor for not wearing any clothes, attempting to rob from the day and trying to carry a full shop without bags.
The shop later apologised on evening telly. Stating their lack of bags was due to a pregnant swallow and a carton of joy, but would be suing Orfice for lugging them around town in such an undignified manner.
The end of this beginning.