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short story, Uncategorized

Flash no. Nosey 


Bloody Neighbours. By CpSingleton © 2016

‘Hello,’ came the voice through my letterbox. ‘Is there anyone in?’

I wasn’t really in so I decided not to answer. It was my prerogative, as the person who was out/in, after all.

‘I know you’re there,’ the elderly female voice persisted.

I decided that I’d test her theory and once again failed to reply.

‘I’ve brought foo-ood,’ she tried.

I wasn’t hungry, therefore carried on with my mission. Plus, I find people who sing terrible enticements into me door holes repugnant and not a little creepy.

‘It’s las-ag-na!’ She added, as if I would then fold.

I surmised that she was a nut job, who was, in all reality, offering me fois gras on kittens eye balls.

Nobody in the present day and age makes lasagna for a new neighbour. It just wasn’t done. 

Soon enough she gave up and tottered down the garden path.

I watched as the psycho, armed with her ridiculous oven dish, struggled to close the gate after she left.

What’s all that about? She actually closed my gate. Who does that?

A lunatic, that’s who.

Bloody neighbours.

 

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About Chris42

I am a liar! A maker-uper of stories! If this was the 16 (c) I'd be burned as a witch. Fank goodness it is not, eh?! I have four children: two wonderful girls, a fantastic lad and Leeds United. I have no strict genre. I write children's poetry and stories, to edgy, stronger themes. Up until now I have stored them for my own and my family's viewing. Last year i thought bugger it and starred in several short films. One, Playground, which is on the BBC Film Network, used the monologue that I wrote for the audition. You should've seen the face of the receptionist, of the Manchester hotel, where the audition was being held, as I turned up dressed as the psychopath, Gordon. It got the desired effect! I then moved up to Cumbria and wrote and appeared in several live performances on stage. 2012. A local artist, Kayleigh Richardson, commissioned me to write a poem for her to paint a representation. I sent her, The Rise of the Robot Monkey Army. Kayleigh painted a fantastic piece that blew my mind! From that we are collaborating on the Jacob Bear series of stories. Oh and Two's Company is to published, along with seventeen other Sci Fi short stories as part of a collection. Not a bad start to the, so called, last year of the Earth. Now is the time to show the rest of you. I take my themes wherever i see them, whether in reality or dream-world. I hope you enjoy. If not tell me why. If so tell me why. Many thanks and be safe. So far I have published: Jacob Bear's first Christmas,https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007GK872A (UK) http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007GK872A (USA) Jacob Bear Goes to School https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007JD3OKY (UK) http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007JD3OKY (USA Jacob's First Words https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007VZWPSC (UK) & http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007VZWPSC (USA) Space Here https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007H96M90 (UK) &http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007H96M90#reader_B007H96M90 The Rise of the Sponge Cake Moon https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007WWZ16M (UK) & http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007WWZ16M (USA) © Madstoffa, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.

Discussion

2 thoughts on “Flash no. Nosey 

  1. Having just watched the hilarious show “Very British Problems” on Netflix, this actually makes sense.

    Posted by Melissa | October 3, 2016, 6:46 pm

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© C.p.Singleton, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Don't make me have to take the shirt off your whipped back if you break the rules! I will you know! Us writing folk work hard to make rubbish up for you to enjoy, so don't abuse or you lose! Tha's right!

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