Once There Was A Monk,
and will fill your heart with belief.
This Monk was no ordinary Monk. This was a Gary Monk.
He’d, for a long time, travelled the length and breadth of the UK with a bunch of Swans. He’d actually done quite well with the Swans. He’d flown them higher than any man could fly them. Since at least the eighties and that doesn’t count as it was a time of Smash and Hedgehog crisps.
Then the top Swan said, ‘we don’t like you no more!’
Can you believe it? They kicked their saviour to touch and they were flying high. The silly old Swans.
One Swan’s loss is a Peacock’s gain, eh?
The Peacocks took him under their wing. It was not an easy transition at first. You see, the Peacock family had had it hard over the last decade. They had been juggled about the grand city they dwelled in like demented kittens and were distrustful of everyone who walked into their house of worship.
It wasn’t unusual for a “saviour” to only last six weeks before being chased off by a madman armed with a bag of tagliatelle and a lump of Parmesan.
Yet, after said six weeks, the Gary Monk was still standing in the dugout!
He was looking pasty and was sweating profusely, but he was still there!
Along with his arrival came a plethora of unknown faces to the Peacock family. There was the Green giant. The Pontus and Bartley Brickwall, The 100% Ayling, The Trickster Hernandez, The Riotous Roofe and The Whizz Sacko. He even made sure we got Captain Bridcutt back for good. These new Peacocks shored up The Torpedo Taylor, The Duke, Dashing Dallas and Wonder Wood.
With the calm reassurance of a Monk twice his age, The Gary set about making the Peacock family believe.
Every week they were expected to improve and every week The Gary Monk spoke of more improvement. The house of god that is the Elland Road grew louder with song and support.
The houses of other folk grew more nervous, as the noise of Elland Road marched across the country with pride back in their chests!
Other families even wrote of the times gone by and that the Peacocks deserve to be at the top of the tree once more. They also spoke of how they had been missed.
Which is funny because the Peacocks were once not very well liked. This was merely jealousy on the parts of some red breasted birds and is hardly noteworthy as they are sh&t and they know they are.
This is not the end. This is just the beginning.
In Monk We Trust.