Jabber Widnes stood like a limp thought by the side of the market stall. The stench of blue cheese that spat out filled his nostrils, bringing back memories of his ex’s bedroom. He did the same thing every Wednesday and Saturday after the noon. The high stench brought her back to his empty life-box.
Some folk, who didn’t know Better -or his wife, Ginger Gang-plank- thought that Jabber was the vendor and were quite taken aback when he told them unceremoniously to “piss off and don’t bare the morses!”
Local purchasers and the owner were used to his foreboding presence.
Sometimes, just break the tension, Lady Gaganana would pop on by and throw tennis shorts at him. She was a cockney, so he let it pass.
Then one day a frozen carpet, called Gerald, stopped in front of Jabber and purred like an Australian.
This confused Jabber, as he was from Scuncastershire and had not bothered to learn the lingo.
After buying a book, he tried like mad to understand the carpet’s language, but failed dramatically, with a soft pipe in his mouth. He took the book, entitled, Soft Pipes and How to Make them Sing, back to the shop and had it reworded and the suspension tightened.
From that moment to the one before it he learned to forget the cheesy ex and moved to Perth, Australasia, where he bought a second-hand fox shop and lived until last Wednesday.
The moral of this story?
Sleep is good.
Blue cheese and ex’s who smell of such devilry are evil,
Lady Gaganana is from The Ephelrump and The Castle.
And sleep is good
Ciao Bella Emberg and good day.