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No. 3272

Problems with sleep?! By CpSingleton © 2017

Some say that I have “problems with sleep.” I find this fallacious. I don’t have problems with sleep. 

I, in fact, love sleep.

It, however, like a thick bully with emotional issues, who knows I’m more handsome than he, has problems with me.

I’d have thought that after 40 years it would have found love of its own and given up the charade of persecuting me every night, but the blancmange head just keeps dragging himself back.

No! I don’t take pills for it. I’d be on my arse about now, if I did.

Meditation and mindfulness techniques do allow me to rise high above it like a cat escaping a Doberman, but I still hear it barking and snapping at my heels as I drift off.

Before you say it, I can’t fight back against this bully. That’s what it wants. And it’s frowned upon to kick a dog in the face. I, therefore try and emulate the aboriginal/Crocodile Dundee way of dealing with angry animals. 

I will win eventually.

Sorry? You were only actually asking the way to the toilet? My mistake, my lovely, I jabber when I drink whiskey. You should see me on tequila. I’d be tickling your tonsils as we speak. Yes, even though that large man is your husband and he appears to reddening in the cheeks. Oops. Haha! 

It’s round the corner, down the corridor, to the left. You can’t miss it. Lovely to so…NIGEL! Big Nige! How the hell are ya?! 


About Chris42

I am a liar! A maker-uper of stories! If this was the 16 (c) I'd be burned as a witch. Fank goodness it is not, eh?! I have four children: two wonderful girls, a fantastic lad and Leeds United. I have no strict genre. I write children's poetry and stories, to edgy, stronger themes. Up until now I have stored them for my own and my family's viewing. Last year i thought bugger it and starred in several short films. One, Playground, which is on the BBC Film Network, used the monologue that I wrote for the audition. You should've seen the face of the receptionist, of the Manchester hotel, where the audition was being held, as I turned up dressed as the psychopath, Gordon. It got the desired effect! I then moved up to Cumbria and wrote and appeared in several live performances on stage. 2012. A local artist, Kayleigh Richardson, commissioned me to write a poem for her to paint a representation. I sent her, The Rise of the Robot Monkey Army. Kayleigh painted a fantastic piece that blew my mind! From that we are collaborating on the Jacob Bear series of stories. Oh and Two's Company is to published, along with seventeen other Sci Fi short stories as part of a collection. Not a bad start to the, so called, last year of the Earth. Now is the time to show the rest of you. I take my themes wherever i see them, whether in reality or dream-world. I hope you enjoy. If not tell me why. If so tell me why. Many thanks and be safe. So far I have published: Jacob Bear's first Christmas,https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007GK872A (UK) http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007GK872A (USA) Jacob Bear Goes to School https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007JD3OKY (UK) http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007JD3OKY (USA Jacob's First Words https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007VZWPSC (UK) & http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007VZWPSC (USA) Space Here https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007H96M90 (UK) &http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007H96M90#reader_B007H96M90 The Rise of the Sponge Cake Moon https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007WWZ16M (UK) & http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007WWZ16M (USA) © Madstoffa, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.


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© C.p.Singleton, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Don't make me have to take the shirt off your whipped back if you break the rules! I will you know! Us writing folk work hard to make rubbish up for you to enjoy, so don't abuse or you lose! Tha's right!

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