Problems with sleep?! By CpSingleton © 2017
Some say that I have “problems with sleep.” I find this fallacious. I don’t have problems with sleep.
I, in fact, love sleep.
It, however, like a thick bully with emotional issues, who knows I’m more handsome than he, has problems with me.
I’d have thought that after 40 years it would have found love of its own and given up the charade of persecuting me every night, but the blancmange head just keeps dragging himself back.
No! I don’t take pills for it. I’d be on my arse about now, if I did.
Meditation and mindfulness techniques do allow me to rise high above it like a cat escaping a Doberman, but I still hear it barking and snapping at my heels as I drift off.
Before you say it, I can’t fight back against this bully. That’s what it wants. And it’s frowned upon to kick a dog in the face. I, therefore try and emulate the aboriginal/Crocodile Dundee way of dealing with angry animals.
I will win eventually.
Sorry? You were only actually asking the way to the toilet? My mistake, my lovely, I jabber when I drink whiskey. You should see me on tequila. I’d be tickling your tonsils as we speak. Yes, even though that large man is your husband and he appears to reddening in the cheeks. Oops. Haha!
It’s round the corner, down the corridor, to the left. You can’t miss it. Lovely to so…NIGEL! Big Nige! How the hell are ya?!