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Flash no. Nearly 

Tickling Trout. By CpSingleton © 2017

It started with a kiss. Though not on my own, or Errol Brown’s, lips.

She leant across and that was that. All bets were off.

I didn’t know either of them, or had an actual bet on a favourable outcome, but it still felt like a loss.

She’s strolled into the coffee shop; all tight-calves and odour of loganberry and plonked her busy frame three seats from mine.

I didn’t once look at her after that. Well, it’s not the done thing to stare at a lady. Not in Huddersfax, anyway.

They can look all they like, but woe betide the man returning the favour. Double standards if you ask me. Which you’re not, of course. As I’m talking very much to myself.

I carried on pretending to read the John le Carré, even though I find it a bit boring. It gives a person that intellectual quality, they say, to read a John le Carré. Though, who they are is way beyond me.

I stopped trying to follow the well-constructed plot line and began to will her towards me. It was a psychic trick I’d read about some years before, in a faded, yellow paperback I’d picked up in a charity shop.

The author had stated that he’d used the technique many a time to to tickle trout out of the river Dean. I supposed the same principles must work on females, as we are all creatures, after all. 

Up until now it hadn’t worked.

‘Do you mind if I use your sugar?’ She asked me. ‘My bowl’s empty.’

I tried to appear cool and collected, but the shock of actually succeeding in luring her to my banks made my tongue turn to rubber.

After sounding very much as if I was gargling porridge, I passed her the sugar bowl that sat in the middle of my table.

She smiled at me in the same manner as a mother does a defective son and returned to her table with a, ‘thanks.’

Some moments later, a tall man, with the surety of his build and looks, plonked his jeaned arse next to her, said something about the Sahara desert and a jewelled moon and then snogged her face off.

Maybe next time I’ll start with trout and work my way up the food chain.


About Chris42

I am a liar! A maker-uper of stories! If this was the 16 (c) I'd be burned as a witch. Fank goodness it is not, eh?! I have four children: two wonderful girls, a fantastic lad and Leeds United. I have no strict genre. I write children's poetry and stories, to edgy, stronger themes. Up until now I have stored them for my own and my family's viewing. Last year i thought bugger it and starred in several short films. One, Playground, which is on the BBC Film Network, used the monologue that I wrote for the audition. You should've seen the face of the receptionist, of the Manchester hotel, where the audition was being held, as I turned up dressed as the psychopath, Gordon. It got the desired effect! I then moved up to Cumbria and wrote and appeared in several live performances on stage. 2012. A local artist, Kayleigh Richardson, commissioned me to write a poem for her to paint a representation. I sent her, The Rise of the Robot Monkey Army. Kayleigh painted a fantastic piece that blew my mind! From that we are collaborating on the Jacob Bear series of stories. Oh and Two's Company is to published, along with seventeen other Sci Fi short stories as part of a collection. Not a bad start to the, so called, last year of the Earth. Now is the time to show the rest of you. I take my themes wherever i see them, whether in reality or dream-world. I hope you enjoy. If not tell me why. If so tell me why. Many thanks and be safe. So far I have published: Jacob Bear's first Christmas,https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007GK872A (UK) http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007GK872A (USA) Jacob Bear Goes to School https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007JD3OKY (UK) http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007JD3OKY (USA Jacob's First Words https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007VZWPSC (UK) & http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007VZWPSC (USA) Space Here https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007H96M90 (UK) &http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007H96M90#reader_B007H96M90 The Rise of the Sponge Cake Moon https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007WWZ16M (UK) & http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007WWZ16M (USA) © Madstoffa, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.


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© C.p.Singleton, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Don't make me have to take the shirt off your whipped back if you break the rules! I will you know! Us writing folk work hard to make rubbish up for you to enjoy, so don't abuse or you lose! Tha's right!

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