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Flash no. Stats kill

Serial Statistics. By CpSingleton © 2017

Crispin had heard somewhere that if six people sat around a table to eat, chances are that one of them is a killer, or who fantasies about killing. It amused him that most of his friends pointed to him as being the most likely, whenever the statistic was brought up.

He was, after all, the self-confessed odd ball of any group.

‘Coupled with the fact that you know a suspicious amount of stuff about killers,’ Mick, a colleague began, as they all sat eating dinner, one night. ‘And you being not quite right in the head, my vote goes your way.’

Crispin and the other four, seated at Mick’s dining room table, laughed along.

Crispin didn’t mind their amusement at all. The way he saw it, if the other five were pointing his way, and he knew he wasn’t a serial killer, then they can’t be either.

Ergo: it must mean that he was safe to wonder free in their worlds.

He was about to say just those very words in response, when his head began to spin and he unfortunately lost consciousness.

When he came to, the first thing he noticed was the terrible pounding in his temples and at the back of his head. The next thing was the acrid aroma of vomit. He tried to lift his head to find out where the smell was coming from, but found he had been heftily tied to the table the group were previously sat around.

He hoped that one of them had escaped to call the authorities.

‘Hello?’ He groaned. Sharp, violent pains shot from his head as he spoke.

‘Awwwww,’ Mick appeared to his right and cooed. ‘You’re awake. The fun can begin.’

”Mick, what’s happening?’ Crispin asked, feeling ready to add to the vomit perfume that filled his nostrils. ‘Where’re the others? Are they okay?’

‘Hush, my old mucka. Everyone’s fine. Look, see?’

The faces of Janet, Simon, Whistler and Mary appeared around him, like pop-up loons.

They all greeted him with big smiles and wide eyes. Mary even stroked his cheeks in a matriarchal manner.

‘Is this a joke?’ Crispin asked with hope.

Mick frowned before answering, ‘I wouldn’t say joke.’ He then produced a very shiny butchers knife. ‘It’s a lesson in never trusting statistics.’

The others showed Crispin their knives, giggled like maniacs and then began hacking away at him to a song only the seven dwarves should be allowed to sing.


About Chris42

I am a liar! A maker-uper of stories! If this was the 16 (c) I'd be burned as a witch. Fank goodness it is not, eh?! I have four children: two wonderful girls, a fantastic lad and Leeds United. I have no strict genre. I write children's poetry and stories, to edgy, stronger themes. Up until now I have stored them for my own and my family's viewing. Last year i thought bugger it and starred in several short films. One, Playground, which is on the BBC Film Network, used the monologue that I wrote for the audition. You should've seen the face of the receptionist, of the Manchester hotel, where the audition was being held, as I turned up dressed as the psychopath, Gordon. It got the desired effect! I then moved up to Cumbria and wrote and appeared in several live performances on stage. 2012. A local artist, Kayleigh Richardson, commissioned me to write a poem for her to paint a representation. I sent her, The Rise of the Robot Monkey Army. Kayleigh painted a fantastic piece that blew my mind! From that we are collaborating on the Jacob Bear series of stories. Oh and Two's Company is to published, along with seventeen other Sci Fi short stories as part of a collection. Not a bad start to the, so called, last year of the Earth. Now is the time to show the rest of you. I take my themes wherever i see them, whether in reality or dream-world. I hope you enjoy. If not tell me why. If so tell me why. Many thanks and be safe. So far I have published: Jacob Bear's first Christmas,https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007GK872A (UK) http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007GK872A (USA) Jacob Bear Goes to School https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007JD3OKY (UK) http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007JD3OKY (USA Jacob's First Words https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007VZWPSC (UK) & http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007VZWPSC (USA) Space Here https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007H96M90 (UK) &http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007H96M90#reader_B007H96M90 The Rise of the Sponge Cake Moon https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007WWZ16M (UK) & http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007WWZ16M (USA) © Madstoffa, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.


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© C.p.Singleton, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Don't make me have to take the shirt off your whipped back if you break the rules! I will you know! Us writing folk work hard to make rubbish up for you to enjoy, so don't abuse or you lose! Tha's right!

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