Being One. By CpSingleton © 2017
‘You had every chance, dude?’ Laughed Jonny.
‘I didn’t though, did I?’ Jonathon replied. ‘Every time I went to open my mouth you cut in with some glib remark.’
‘And whose fault is that?’ Asked Jonny.
The two had been forced into the round grey room to hash their problems out, but it felt pointless to both of them.
‘Yours!’ Snapped Jonathon. ‘Always yours.’
‘How can you say that?! I gave you ample opportunity, dude.’
‘Will you stop calling me that.’
‘What? Dude?’ Asked Jonny, grinning. ‘You’re just trying to deflect the fact that you lost out because you’re boring.’
‘No I’m not!’
‘What? Deflecting or boring?’
‘Well, both,’ replied Jonathon. ‘I was laying down the groundwork. You can’t rush these things.’
‘Laying down the groundwork?! Come on! You were fucking boring the girl. If I hadn’t come along she would’ve hung herself from the cafeteria light-fittings. I saved her life, dude. I deserve a medal: not this shit.’
‘But, you always do it!’ Jonathon told Jonny. ‘Just as I’m setting myself to ask a girl, in swoops Captain Flash-bastard. Why can’t you just let me have one?’
‘Because, even if you did manage to bore a bird into submission, you’re bound to fuck it up later. I’m saving you the heartache.’
‘And you’re so great, are you? How many relationships have you gone the distance with?’
‘That’s not the point,’ said Jonny, feeling the momentum slip. ‘At least I get dates. You can’t even get that far. I don’t even know why we’re friends. You’re a liability.’
Jonny stood to leave the room, only to frown at the lack of doors and windows.
‘What the exact bollocks is this?’ He asked.
Jonathon stood; the cold chill of anxiety filling his guts.
‘This isn’t right,’ Jonathon moaned. He bolted to the point where he was sure they had entered and found solid wall. ‘Jonny! Get us out!’
‘Calm down, pee-pants. It’s obviously a joke. A piss-take to wind us up. You go one way and I’ll go the other. And breathe. I don’t need one of your panic attacks today.’
Fighting down the need to scream, Jonathon did as he was told. They both tapped and thumped their way around the room. By the time they had reached one another, however, an exit was still to be found.
‘I’m not liking this, Jonny!’ Jonathon moaned. A cold sweat forming on his spine as the room closed in on him like the garbage scene from Star Wars. ‘I need to get out! I need to get out!’
He felt the other man’s hand sting his cheek. It calmed him a little.
‘Get a grip,’ said Jonny. ‘There’s a note on the desk. It’ll be some frigging joke.’
Jonathon turned to look at the desk he didn’t recall being there previously.
‘But,’ he began.
‘But, nothing,’ Jonny told him. ‘The note says we can only get out by being one. What the fuck do you think that means?’
‘Being one what?’
‘Just, being one, Jonny replied, widening his arms.